What am I responsible for?

I have been hearing for years how "You create your own reality." This is similar to the idea that when you are an infant or child, you take everything personally, especially that if something bad happens to you, it means there is something is wrong with you.
I mentioned in another entry that "I am 100% responsible for everything that happens to me."
Well, I have been somewhat overwhelmed by family events and feelings about family, that I tried letting go of responsibility in my mind, i.e. "things are happening to me." I found this to be helpful. It's a paradox.