The key to willpower

Willpower with Kelly McGonigal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbjjIId54g8

Recap:
I feel like if I am being good, I get to be bad.
If I do something towards my goal, I'm being good,
so I get to do something bad, i.e. something for me.
 ("Moral licensing")
Instead of moral motivation, try endgame motivation,
as in, I want to speak Portuguese, that is what I am
studying for, not "to be good."
"I've done my good deed for the day" is making some
other being the valuer.  I am the valuer, the judge.
My future self is someone else.  It doesn't feel like it's me.
If I'm anti-racist in one way, I may feel it's okay to be
more racist in another, or to stop paying attention to the
problem.
  Wanting  and
  liking
are different systems in the brain.  Dopamine is about
what you think is going to make you happy.  It doesn't
directly make you happy.  Neither does it always know what
will actually make you happy.  It can be confused by
"essentialism," e.g. substituting a skin magazine for an
actual mating opportunity.
Checking the mailbox:  at some point you are going
to get a reward.  Addiction to dopamine.
Pay attention to what you are actually experiencing,
and that will give you power to do what you ask yourself
to do.  The promise of a reward is not the same as
an actual reward.
  Self control
is another system of the brain.
Paying attention shifts to the self control system.
Pay attention to what you are feeling before, and
as, you for example eat each bite of the cookie.
Mindfulness is the best answer to any kind of addiction.
Pay attention without immediately following an instinct
is the key to willpower.
We ignore actual signals about whether something is
actually making us happy.  "The brain lied to you."
Just thinking about being stressed out, or in pain,
makes you feel like indulging in your worst addictive behavior.
Desire is a form of stress.  A difference between what you
are currently experiencing, and what you want.
Guilt is a form of stress.
Bring awareness to these times.
The "what the hell" effect of relying on guilt:
The more guilty I feel about procrastinating,
the more "what the hell", I'm already late, so
who cares if it's a little bit later?
For more about stress, also from Kelly McGonigal,
go to youtube, and search "how to make stress your friend."